my life is catatonic
i'm as numb as the song says i am
but not comfortable
my sex life is capricious
like watching two jellyfish collide
in a tank of water
my job lacks catharsis
i want to change the world not
service the mundane
my emotions are cacophonic
like a pile-up on the freeway
that only interferes
my philosophy is callous
i despise everyone and everything
myself most of all
Relenting
Will you join me in the word dance
May I take your mind
And step in time
Pull close within a trance?
May I rivet you with an argument
Quell your protests
Slowly digress
Until at last you relent?
Except that I can but succumb
Can but express
The emptiest
Of what I would become.
May I take your mind
And step in time
Pull close within a trance?
May I rivet you with an argument
Quell your protests
Slowly digress
Until at last you relent?
Except that I can but succumb
Can but express
The emptiest
Of what I would become.
A Song of Praise to Apathy
Supreme apathy, be my God;
Secure for me a name unknown;
Cast me not from thy earthly heaven;
Crown me with mediocrity.
All aspirations have I perceived and scorned,
Life's span no different than a single day.
Walk with me I pray, through fog and mist,
And bury me in the graveyard of forgetfulness.
Secure for me a name unknown;
Cast me not from thy earthly heaven;
Crown me with mediocrity.
All aspirations have I perceived and scorned,
Life's span no different than a single day.
Walk with me I pray, through fog and mist,
And bury me in the graveyard of forgetfulness.
On a Minor Betrayal
Oh, I've been alone through it all.
The friends who walked a mile or a year
Are all gone, with more of the same lot coming along,
To day by day do some play by play on the petty and perfunctory,
Whilst I, in solemn hidden wrath, cut apart their small deceits
To find, the giant monstrosity buried beneath.
Oh, I've seen my share of truth.
The slight behaviorisms, the routine clichés,
The rare collapses of their present fronts and past flaunts;
Delusion and blind intention birth their thoughts, and, like a great whore
To her bastard children, they raise these thoughts as though
They were heaven's very angels, blessed and pure.
Oh, but we will all carry on.
You and I will live it through till bitter end,
Till, found at last in wretched, awful paradigm, we see
Clearly, acutely, and with fatal comprehension, that for our small sins
There is no redemption. Oh innumerable! oh sublime!
The perfect agonies with which we bless our brothers.
The friends who walked a mile or a year
Are all gone, with more of the same lot coming along,
To day by day do some play by play on the petty and perfunctory,
Whilst I, in solemn hidden wrath, cut apart their small deceits
To find, the giant monstrosity buried beneath.
Oh, I've seen my share of truth.
The slight behaviorisms, the routine clichés,
The rare collapses of their present fronts and past flaunts;
Delusion and blind intention birth their thoughts, and, like a great whore
To her bastard children, they raise these thoughts as though
They were heaven's very angels, blessed and pure.
Oh, but we will all carry on.
You and I will live it through till bitter end,
Till, found at last in wretched, awful paradigm, we see
Clearly, acutely, and with fatal comprehension, that for our small sins
There is no redemption. Oh innumerable! oh sublime!
The perfect agonies with which we bless our brothers.
Games
I. Children's Game
Little Gaia come to play;
She cannot wait another day.
I will run through grasses,
Though she chase me, run away.
Little Aello come to play;
She cannot wait another day.
I will run through grasses,
Though she snatch me, run away.
Were you there to watch us play?
Can you wait another day?
I will run through darkness,
Though you chase me, run away.
Were you there to watch us play?
Can you wait another day?
I will run through darkness,
Though you snatch me, run away.
II. Adult's Game
They wait with smiling faces;
Over the hills they wait and sing.
You should run through grasses,
Though I stay here, run away.
They wait with smiling faces;
Over the hills they wait and sing.
You should run through grasses,
Though I die here, run away.
Can you see their smiling faces?
Can you hear their song?
You should run into the light,
Though I stay here, run away.
Can you hear their smiling faces?
Can you hear their song?
You should run into the light,
Though I die here, run away.
III. God's Game
Little Me come to play;
I cannot wait another day.
I will run forever,
Though it chase me, run away.
Little Me come to play;
I cannot wait another day.
I will run forever,
Though it snatch me, run away.
Little Gaia come to play;
She cannot wait another day.
I will run through grasses,
Though she chase me, run away.
Little Aello come to play;
She cannot wait another day.
I will run through grasses,
Though she snatch me, run away.
Were you there to watch us play?
Can you wait another day?
I will run through darkness,
Though you chase me, run away.
Were you there to watch us play?
Can you wait another day?
I will run through darkness,
Though you snatch me, run away.
II. Adult's Game
They wait with smiling faces;
Over the hills they wait and sing.
You should run through grasses,
Though I stay here, run away.
They wait with smiling faces;
Over the hills they wait and sing.
You should run through grasses,
Though I die here, run away.
Can you see their smiling faces?
Can you hear their song?
You should run into the light,
Though I stay here, run away.
Can you hear their smiling faces?
Can you hear their song?
You should run into the light,
Though I die here, run away.
III. God's Game
Little Me come to play;
I cannot wait another day.
I will run forever,
Though it chase me, run away.
Little Me come to play;
I cannot wait another day.
I will run forever,
Though it snatch me, run away.
Duplicity
The one I am and the other one,
And all of them together in a row;
I trot them out and switch them up
Till you can't tell friend from foe.
They call it "oh so despicable,"
"So contemptible," "what a shame";
But me, myself, and the other I
All agree they're the ones to blame.
Who said that what's integral
Must thereby be what's right?
If each in its own strange sense is true
Why not let them all be you?
And all of them together in a row;
I trot them out and switch them up
Till you can't tell friend from foe.
They call it "oh so despicable,"
"So contemptible," "what a shame";
But me, myself, and the other I
All agree they're the ones to blame.
Who said that what's integral
Must thereby be what's right?
If each in its own strange sense is true
Why not let them all be you?
An Encounter
Longer than a relapse
Hide my eyes
Fear reveals the passing
Side by side
A table in the window
And a tempest within
Draw me a guard-rail
And I'll drown till I swim
Force beyond the distance
To the strain of all
Cover up the portrait
And abandon the call
A tablet that was broken
And a temple to blind
Dark is the mountain of love
I find
Hide my eyes
Fear reveals the passing
Side by side
A table in the window
And a tempest within
Draw me a guard-rail
And I'll drown till I swim
Force beyond the distance
To the strain of all
Cover up the portrait
And abandon the call
A tablet that was broken
And a temple to blind
Dark is the mountain of love
I find
you and i
don't put the future in a box
of disappointments
happiness isn't a package you can save
for a rainy day
don't reassure yourself with a handful
of worries
you can't trust your head to know
the way
look at your life as a murmur
of waters
rolling along toward the close
of the day
the trees and the banks rim the shores
of time
tranquility chaos divergent paths but
one way
i'll find you again at the end
of the rivers
i'll find you again on the ocean
gray
until then i'll dream of a girl
with flowers
waiting at the western edge to wash our tears
away
of disappointments
happiness isn't a package you can save
for a rainy day
don't reassure yourself with a handful
of worries
you can't trust your head to know
the way
look at your life as a murmur
of waters
rolling along toward the close
of the day
the trees and the banks rim the shores
of time
tranquility chaos divergent paths but
one way
i'll find you again at the end
of the rivers
i'll find you again on the ocean
gray
until then i'll dream of a girl
with flowers
waiting at the western edge to wash our tears
away
Possession
Tell me all the petty revelations that you exalt to own,
Poor broken mirror, so proud to catch a fragment of my form,
Portray the smile on my mouth, but miss the sneer within my eyes,
And wonder when I throw you out if all you knew were lies.
Your pieces never could construct my outer whole,
How then could you presume to know the secrets of my soul,
If all you were before your fall was a common ornament,
And I a god, and the likeness of god, and out of heaven sent?
So dry your shards you silvery wreck,
And let me hold you close.
Possession is a better truth
Than any empty boast.
Poor broken mirror, so proud to catch a fragment of my form,
Portray the smile on my mouth, but miss the sneer within my eyes,
And wonder when I throw you out if all you knew were lies.
Your pieces never could construct my outer whole,
How then could you presume to know the secrets of my soul,
If all you were before your fall was a common ornament,
And I a god, and the likeness of god, and out of heaven sent?
So dry your shards you silvery wreck,
And let me hold you close.
Possession is a better truth
Than any empty boast.
Here live our white souls and black demons.
In secret places,
Stored away, hidden with care,
Not to show, like gaudy ornaments,
Whispered subtly on the breath,
In the air.
In empty places,
Shut up, boarded, locked away,
Dark rooms lacking all embellishments,
Reeking still of lonely death,
Eyes turned gray.
Stored away, hidden with care,
Not to show, like gaudy ornaments,
Whispered subtly on the breath,
In the air.
In empty places,
Shut up, boarded, locked away,
Dark rooms lacking all embellishments,
Reeking still of lonely death,
Eyes turned gray.
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